When you don't have water.....Blog

The beginning of the first winter storm. We ended up with 10" by day two.

I finally feel ready to blog again. It's kind of like when you know you need to get up and exercise but you just don't feel like it, but once you do it you're like, "That felt so good." Not to mention the fact that when you don't have running water for 5 days you run out of things to do.

I love to journal and write, but I've taken a few months off. Why? Because I just haven't been able to get my thoughts together. Life has taken a very new course for us and I am still trying to catch up to it.

Jarrod wrote a post a couple of months ago on Reconciliation. It was beautiful, and my sentiments, exactly. So I won't be a copy-cat. However, let me just say that when families let down their guard and choose love over pride, God smiles.

I have promised on Facebook to post pics of our new home, our family and tell you the miracles that God has done (is doing) in our family. I'm so glad it's Christmas because I get to show off our home at such a wonderful time of the year. I want to post pics but because we live so high up in the mountains (7000 ft.) we can only get dial-up, yes DIAL-UP, for Internet and just these three pics took about 3 yrs. to upload. Not really. Now, if I go to the ol' library with my nifty flash drive I can post pics easily but that would mean bundling up and driving on the snow-packed roads to get to town. Nah, I'll just tell you about our wonderful home.

Ready for Christmas...Yeah, I love this place.

Well, it's a dream come true, really. In September, after living with family for three months, I "happened" upon this home online. Neither Jarrod or myself had even considered the mountains because of the price of homes as well as not knowing where he would end up working. However, after searching what seemed to be every single residential street in Albuquerque for decent, no GOOD, housing, I took a chance and told Jarrod about my find. So, one day, when we just needed some family time, we took the address and headed to the Sandia Mountains to check this place out. Inside I was saying, "Don't do it. You're gonna fall in love with this place." Then, "I bet the pictures make it look great, but it's gonna be a dump."
We got to Tijeras and stopped at a Western Feed Store to ask for directions because most of these mountain roads are not on a normal map. This very nice teenager pulled out an East Mountain street map, a map that we now own. It took quite some time, but he and Jarrod finally found the street. About 15 minutes later we pulled into the driveway and all five of us gasped and smiled and clapped and shouted! It was so obvious that it was HOME! Two weeks dragged on and we came back to it a couple of times and just prayed for God to bless us with this place...a two-story cabin on 4 acres of wooded land, two beautiful fountains, a covered porch and back deck with a hot tub...We felt like we didn't deserve such a wonderful home, but dared to ask for it anyway. But God was anxious to tell us, "It's yours."

"Welcome Home, Flaming family, Welcome Home"

October 1st we moved in. Ever since moving-in day I have felt like this is my home. It's us. We belong here. The mountains are incredible. The first week we saw a white owl perched on a wire above our driveway; salamanders were growing in the little fountain pond in the front; tons of birds flutter around the fountain to socialize; a cartoon-looking gray squirrel keeps Cookie busy; and at night you can hear coyotes howling in the distance.

Top 5 Things We've Learned about Mountain Living:
1. Cell phones get reception in the strangest places- like by the kitchen sink facing the window, in the middle of my bed if you lean to the right.
2. Unless you want to pay big bucks, good old fashioned "Dial-up" service is quite the rage for Internet use.
3. Cutting your own firewood on your property is free, and hauling it uphill results in weight loss.

4. When people say, "Now, you have a 4 wheel drive vehicle, don't you?" they mean it. Time to sell the wimpy truck.
5. Rent before you buy...finding out what is wrong with a house and not having to pay for those repairs makes for a much more profitable transaction later on...

ie: ~Heating your home solely with wood is hard work. Next year we'll have the luxury of cutting wood BEFORE winter.
~Cracked shower base and pipes in upstairs bathroom that leaks into master bedroom, causing sheet rock to sag like a pregnant whale.
~Insulating the crawl space so your toes don't get frostbite when standing in the kitchen (or your heat doesn't escape directly to the great outdoors).
~Extensive repairs on the well that was not properly installed to begin with (I don't understand why people don't do things right the FIRST TIME!!!) so that you don't have to go 5 days without water in 10° snowy weather next winter.

Yes, those are just a few things we've been learning the past three months. Does it change my mind about these beautiful mountains? Not one bit! Inconvenience is endurable when you love where you live and make changes for the next time.

So next time I promise to get down to the good ol' library and upload some pics of our home and new pics of our fam.

Speed Bumps and Loony Bins

On the way to Caleb's school there are two ways to go (three, if you ask Jarrod, but Caleb and I insist it's longer). Both include a plethora of speed bumps. In fact, one route has these stupid diagonal speed bumps that make me want to puke after going over them!

Well, I hit a little "speed bump" this weekend; the kind that has no warning sign before you get there. Actually, it was more like a massive sink-hole for a while, but looking back (hind-sight is 20/20) I see that it was merely an obstacle to my journey with Christ. I've had a lot of time to think, cry, scream and stomp, then sit in silence as my thoughts and emotions have raged.

For those of you who belong to and have a true relationship (not religion) with Jesus you really do know deep down that it is only grace, love, and mercy that keep you from checking into the Loony Bin on a weekly basis. There is no claim to perfectionism, super-spirituality, or pride. I am not saying that I do not deal with these...not in the least! Believe me, some of my words, some of my thoughts, and even some of my actions this weekend would have probably shocked the worst criminal. I've admitted them to God and agreed that I took it upon myself to claim my rights.

For me, I think the hardest part of choosing to base your life on His Word is not having to have the last word, or not having to prove who I am. It's a pretty ugly thing to see. I fight with every fiber of my being to hang on to what I see as "justice". Then I'm driving along yesterday, and here comes a radio show about I Corinthians 13. They had the nerve to read it- to READ IT-right when I was feeling better!!

Hmmm...1 Corinthians 13. I have a love-hate relationship with that chapter right now. It goes like this:

Love never gives up. (guilty!)
Love cares more for others than for self. (guilty!)

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. (guilty!)
Love doesn't strut, (tempting)
Doesn't have a swelled head, (tempting)
Doesn't force itself on others, (don't want to anyway)
Isn't always "me first," (don't want to be)
Doesn't fly off the handle, (guilty!)
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, (double guilty!)
Doesn't revel when others grovel, (guilty!)
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, (you betcha!)
Puts up with anything, (oops)
Trusts God always, (trying, but failing)
Always looks for the best, (ditto)
Never looks back, (resolved!)
But keeps going to the end. (Have to, want to)

My heart and head say, "Chuck it all!!! Love stinks!!" But in my spirit, I hear a whisper: "Melissa, you know it's true."

So then I stopped fighting Him and said, "God, once again, You are right, and I am wrong. Dang, I need Your help."

So, today I am getting up, and getting on with my life. I have a ton of stuff to work on in this old stubborn self, but I am choosing to let Jesus remind me that I have a GOOD HEART; not a wicked, deceitful heart, like so many of us have grown up being told. If I remember correctly, God said,

"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart." -

Ezekiel 36:26

I'll take that truth any day!

Today's confession: Temper tantrums only make one sore and tired.

Filling the Tank

As I got ready to take my youngest to school this morning I found myself cranky and irritable. I knew that the truck was on Empty, and I was hoping to make it to the school and then to the gas station without the dreaded "running-out-of-gas-in-the-middle-of-an-intersection-during-morning-rush-hour-traffic" scenario. The whole way to the school I'm thinking, "Don't turn red, Mr. Stop-light...go faster, Mr. Car-in-front-me...". I made it to the gas station just fine and sighed a "Thank You, God" as I hopped out and stuck the gas thingy in the gas tank .

After a lot of waiting and a lot of money later, I turned the key and watched the gas gauge rise all the way to the Full mark. Again, I sighed a "Thank You, God". But this time it felt different. This time I felt the comforting realization that, not only could I make it where I needed to go, but I could also enjoy going wherever I need to go because I have what I need to get me there.

My mood went from cranky to calm; from irritable to joyful. All because I put fuel in my truck?? No, because I now had that need met.

Then my mind went to how EMPTY my soul has been for several months. It isn't that I have neglected my emotional and spiritual tanks; in fact, I have spent more time than I can count taking in the fuel I need to make it through that day. So how is it that I am still so EMPTY? Well, I believe there is more than one reason: First of all, I am having to use up every ounce of "fuel" to get through each day. Secondly, I have a leak in my tank. Something punctured a place in my soul that is going to take some time to heal. You see, there are times when we neglect our soul, but there are also times when our soul is wounded, and although you continue to try and fill it up with the right "fuel" (ie: God's Truth, even physical rest), until the wound is healed and made whole, it will continue to drain.

As I drove home I began to understand the incredible significance of my need to not give up, but to keep filling my soul with God's Truth, His promises, even time to physically stop and rest. If I give up, I will live on EMPTY and get nowhere, but if I persevere through this season and allow God to mend the wounds, I will eventually be FULL, and I will go further, last longer, and be able to get where I need and even want to go.

Am I sick of living on "E"? YES! Will I always live on "E"? THANK GOD, NO!! Today I am choosing to be content where God has me, knowing that at the end of the day I had just what I needed to get there.

If you are with me on this Empty Tank thing, why not take a few minutes to listen:

Today's Confession: I had an incredible Raspberry Cream Cheese Croissant and loved every bite!!

So it begins...

Well, the kids are off to school today. And I?? I am catching up on Facebook, email, and doing an hour's worth of job-searching. My eyes are all blurry now, so I'm about to get off this chair and start the mountain of laundry that's calling my name.

Last night Jacob, 7th grade, started crying when we got them all to bed. He's so nervous about being in a new school. It doesn't help that he's been Facebooking all his friends from Kansas. He began to sob when he told us he wants to go to Chisholm (his old school). But this morning, as he got up and had his little sis, his older cousin, Lindsey, and her cute friend Megan to walk with to the bus stop, he seemed much more at ease.

Anna is starting middle school today, 6th grade, which I can't believe! She turned into a teenager overnight! Now it's all about curling her hair for half an hour, putting on eyeshadow, and changing outfits three times before she walks out the door.

Caleb will be at his new school all by himself this year. It's the first time he hasn't had a big brother or sister to ease his fears. This morning I drove him to school and told him that I'd walk him to class if he wanted me to. "Sure, yeah, if you want." So as I drove past the drop-off lane and looked for a parking space, he says, "Ummm, what are you gonna do if you go in with me?" I replied, "Just walk you to your class." He changed his mind and said, "That's ok, Mom. I wanna go in by myself." OK...BACK to the drop-off lane we went. He grabbed his backpack, and hopped out. I wanted to hold on to him, but that could've caused a scene. 4th grade...hard to believe.

The funny part was coming home...as I drove into the neighborhood, there are all the mid-school kiddos, waiting for the bus (mine, included). I did a "low-wave" to let them know I love them without humiliating them. How did they repay me??? They acted like they'd never seen me before!! The nerve! The gall!! Ah well, I am now officially the "un-cool" mom that I knew I'd someday be.

Today's Confession: I'm home alone with no one to take care of for a whole day!! Who's laughin' now!

Rude Awakening

Ok...After yesterday's confession I found FOUR MORE of those "things" on my head!!!!!!!! And the horrible part about it is that I can't easily see my whole head to evaluate what they make me look like! I mean, what if I suddenly am looking, say 45-ish, and here I am, boppin' around town thinking, "Lookin' pretty good for 39!"??

So what did I do yesterday as I hugged the bathroom mirror, seeing those blatant shiny "things" coming out of my head? Why...PULLED THEM OUT ONE BY ONE, that's what! "This can't be happening", I kept saying out loud. And my dear husband is sitting at the computer, just grinning from ear to ear. Why? Because he has many, many of these shiny "things" on his head, and beard, and chest...but they look really sexy on him!

The tragic part of it all is that I just cut off the last of my damaged "boxed-color" hair last month. As I looked at my dark brown tresses I thought to myself, "Stand tall, my friend! God gave you a lovely shade of brown!"

At this point, you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, "Get over it, sister!" And I don't blame you.

I can't explain why I've felt such fear about getting gray "things" on my head...we all have our vices, I suppose. All I can think of is that to ME it's the "official" beginning of Middle-Age living.

Today's Confession: I'll be making a trip to the store for "Chocolate Velvet" or "Bronzed Rubies"

Could YOU do this?

There are 9 people, 2 dogs, and a guinea pig living together right now. My sister and brother-in-law are so very graciously allowing the Flamings to invade their home for a few weeks. We have the kids enrolled in school, which starts next Wed. (8/18). We are STILL STILL STILL job searching, but at least we are all together in Albuquerque now.

One thing my parents always taught us growing up was how important a sense of humor is. And, boy are they right! Some humor I must share today:

At any one time on the bathroom counter upstairs there are numerous hair products, toothbrushes, make-up bags, lotions, and smeary mirrors.

We try to keep it cleaned off, but with 7 people using one upstairs bathroom, one must choose to laugh, not scream.

There is a dog here named J.D. He is kind of a chow/rottweiler/mutt mix...I dunno.

But I've learned to really like this dog. He's big, but he's a baby. He refuses to climb the stairs, so EVERY TIME someone goes up the stairs, he turns circles and chases his tail! And he actually catches it! I love his humorous antics.

In this house of nine people are 5 chit-rens: 16, 13,12,11, and 9 yrs. of age.

I never knew if having teenagers would be my "cup-o-tea", but I am just amazed at the funny things they do and say. Their thought processes (or sometimes lack, thereof) reminds me so much of my own teenage years. And, no, I wouldn't go back for a million buck-a-roos!!

Those are just a few things that I've observed over the past two weeks. I'm sure my sisters' family will never be the same after these few weeks. The main goal Jarrod and I have while we live here is to live with a servant's heart; to do whatever we can do to make life a bit easier for everyone. It ain't easy, this "helping family out" stuff. All I can say is, "Jesus, thank You for Your love, Your patience, Your grace. You amaze me."

Today's Confession: I'm proud to announce that I STILL don't have any gray hair.

8/14 update~~*GASP*!! I just found a gray hair yesterday...on MY head! -sigh- So it begins...

When God Talks

This is what God spoke to me this morning through Job's life:

"Job was terrified that I (God) might be powerful but not good...I removed all sources of encouragement but one. I extinguished all the lights that had been guiding Job on a pleasant path through life, not to prove a point to Satan-I owe him nothing but hell- but to gain entrance into Job's heart with the light of My Presence. It was in the darkness of unexplained suffering that Job learned he was not the prosecuting attorney nor I the defendant. My message to him is My message to you (Melissa): I remain all-powerful and all-good in your darkest night. Trust Me. You don't know enough not to."

It was God's arms around me this morning.

Now, I wish I could say that I came up with these brilliant words. But, alas, it is not my own. I am reading an INCREDIBLE book, called 66Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crabb.

I know, I know...it's been too long

'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”- Jeremiah 33:2-3

~ I'm guessing He didn't put a time-line on that verse for a reason. Darn. ~

Burritos and a Driver's License

Week 2 has officially started. This morning Jarrod and I left our two boys in the very capable and willing hands of my dear parents and headed to Albuquerque to start the ol' job-hunting process. First, Jarrod bought me a breakfast burrito from the burrito guy who has a stand across from his old work. WOWSA!! The best I've had maybe...ever?? The green chile sauce was so hot, but I couldn't stop eating it. Now THAT'S a good burrito!

Jarrod dropped me off at the MVD to get my license renewed (I know, I know. I never switched my Driv. License when in Kansas.) That was an experience. There had to be over 100 people with their "Take a Number" tickets, which were NOT called in any kind of order. My picture looks pathetic, but at least I'm legal now. The most insulting question of the day: "Are your height and weight current?". My response: "Close enough." Like I'm gonna reveal THAT! Pa-leez.

Jarrod began his job search. We'll continue on each day, like Jarrod said on his blog, "Praying with your legs".

OH, we also have our Anna Mary back! She actually got homesick the past couple of days and was sooo ready to see us. My, that feels good. *sigh*

Today's Confession: I've forgotton how to be a Big City Girl- Crossing the street took 10 minutes.

Dancin' Fools

Last night we had a dance in my parents' living room. Mom and Dad had gone to a fundraiser dinner that was supposed to be entertaining. but ended up being a real bummer. So after they got home, Mom said it was time to party; she turned on Alan Jackson, and the four of us danced to "Livin' on Love"!
Today's Confession: My parents are good dancers! And my hips are sore.

Skunks and Dogs

This morning has brought on a new experience: Cookie and Lexi (my parents' dog) chased Pepe Le Pew...and paid for it. I saw the whole thing and all the yelling in the world didn't deter them. That skunk ran in front of them, tail raised, until it disappereared and our dogs sheepishly walked back thoroughly coated in"Eau De Stink".

Jarrod and I changed into clothes we could throw away, put on rubber gloves, and scrubbed them down as best we could. Cookie had to be bathed in tomato juice (V-8...low sodium, I might add). ;)

They've been banished to the porch for the next few days.

Today's Confession: I'm really leaning towards buying a shotgun...for the skunks, not the dogs.

I'm Here Now

I'm here...finally. I will tell you that this blog is aptly named because I will have many confessions, and I do love coffee.
Firstly, my hubby, 3 kiddos, 1 dog and I just made the big and long-awaited move back to New Mexico 4 days ago. As I stated on Facebook, moving is probably one of the hardest, most stressful events one will ever experience, right up there with childbirth. My stress levels the last week were somewhere around 3 or 4 ka-billion, and I didn't even know it until Saturday afternoon when in the course of loading the moving van I found myself TRYING to throw up just so I could get on with the loading. ( I'm sure that's more than you wanted to know). I will say, however, that my dear friends who came to feed us and help me clean the house went above and beyond to finish up for me after they made me go to one of their homes to sleep for a while.
Sunday was "Travel Day". Really...I hope to NEVER have to do this again (unless it's from our next home to our new straw-bale home that I'm still determined to build before I'm old.). It was a fairly good, uneventful trip. I did watch Jarrod whip the U-Haul/trailer holding our van from the ditch a couple times, thanks to the high winds. I only screamed once.
We made it to my parents' house in Pojoaque (po-wah-keh) that night and slept great! Monday morning we all headed to Albuquerque to unload everything we own into a storage unit. You know, I'm starting to think that moving no longer becomes me, as I am usually the only female, and once again, the heat and stress ( and,dare I say, age?) took over. I spent the next hour puking and screaming from the pounding in my head(worse than my migraines, if that's possible). How do guys do it?!?
The last couple of days have been foggy. Jarrod and I already determined that this week we will spend recouping and gathering our thoughts before hitting the job scene. We're exhausted, outta sorts from the crazy pace we've kept up for the past couple of weeks, and need to help our kiddos get adjusted to this "in-between" stage. Bless my Dad and Mom for inviting us to invade their home for a few weeks! We're all adjusting to the organized chaos and lack of privacy. Yet spending time with each other is the reason we moved back. It's totally priceless!
So, today's confession: I'm missing my normal routine and my friends, but I'm letting it work through my system this week. I'll be fine...in fact, I'll be more than fine because I am not alone.