Wednesday, December 31, 2014

I'm Back!

Time to start fresh.  It's almost 2015, and I have taken leave from blogging for 2 years; not intentionally, but because I wrestle with fear and intimidation.  But as we are taking a bold leap of faith as a family this year I believe it time for me to cast off this fear of man and do what I love to do: write- honestly, candidly, from the heart.  Lord Jesus, I need Your boldness.

If I could sum up 2014 in one word it would be "COMMITMENT".  This is the year that we have heard Him speak clearly to both of us regarding our calling.  It is the year that we pursued His calling to the point of commitment; a commitment that placed us on the path back to Africa!  There are so many unknowns, but there are also many affirmations that help us to continue stepping forward, even if it is with baby steps.
So this "commitment" that I speak of...you can read all about it here.  The word "missionary" can cause some distance, if you will.  On this page I want to just share as a real mom, wife, friend who goes through everyday stuff and depends on Jesus to walk me through it all.

I have experienced so many things this year, but for today I'll limit it to one: Working full-time.  This has been a big blessing for our family and has given me the opportunity to work alongside women who are in need of Jesus. Even though it means I am not at home as much as I would love to be I know that God is using this to grow my dependence on Him and to prepare me for where He is taking us.  My husband and kids are so good to understand that working means a messier house, laundry at 11pm, do-it-yourself breakfast/lunch, and frequent "turn off ALL the lights before you leave" reminders.
I am not one of those women who feel so empowered because she now has a job and therefore has meaning.  Really, I'm not.  Where I love to be is in my home, keeping things going for my family.  However, this work thing is a "season" for me, and it is teaching me:
 *multi-tasking (on a whole new level)
*control-release (one simply cannot keep a perfect house when one is working)
*delegation (children are learning that "mom" is not a synonym for "maid")
*days off make me as giddy as a school-girl
*one really can survive on 5-6 hours of sleep on a regular basis

As I am realizing that this is the last day of 2014, my heart is so full of gratefulness for ALL of the big and small things that God has brought me through.  I've experienced extreme heartbreak, exhilarating joy, and quiet peace in my spirit as we've walked a crazy-fun path over these past 12 months.  My children are growing older (and taller), my relationship with Jarrod is growing deeper and sweeter, and my love and dependence on Jesus is unexplainable- cannot find words to tell you how much I love Him.