Filling the Tank

As I got ready to take my youngest to school this morning I found myself cranky and irritable. I knew that the truck was on Empty, and I was hoping to make it to the school and then to the gas station without the dreaded "running-out-of-gas-in-the-middle-of-an-intersection-during-morning-rush-hour-traffic" scenario. The whole way to the school I'm thinking, "Don't turn red, Mr. Stop-light...go faster, Mr. Car-in-front-me...". I made it to the gas station just fine and sighed a "Thank You, God" as I hopped out and stuck the gas thingy in the gas tank .

After a lot of waiting and a lot of money later, I turned the key and watched the gas gauge rise all the way to the Full mark. Again, I sighed a "Thank You, God". But this time it felt different. This time I felt the comforting realization that, not only could I make it where I needed to go, but I could also enjoy going wherever I need to go because I have what I need to get me there.

My mood went from cranky to calm; from irritable to joyful. All because I put fuel in my truck?? No, because I now had that need met.

Then my mind went to how EMPTY my soul has been for several months. It isn't that I have neglected my emotional and spiritual tanks; in fact, I have spent more time than I can count taking in the fuel I need to make it through that day. So how is it that I am still so EMPTY? Well, I believe there is more than one reason: First of all, I am having to use up every ounce of "fuel" to get through each day. Secondly, I have a leak in my tank. Something punctured a place in my soul that is going to take some time to heal. You see, there are times when we neglect our soul, but there are also times when our soul is wounded, and although you continue to try and fill it up with the right "fuel" (ie: God's Truth, even physical rest), until the wound is healed and made whole, it will continue to drain.

As I drove home I began to understand the incredible significance of my need to not give up, but to keep filling my soul with God's Truth, His promises, even time to physically stop and rest. If I give up, I will live on EMPTY and get nowhere, but if I persevere through this season and allow God to mend the wounds, I will eventually be FULL, and I will go further, last longer, and be able to get where I need and even want to go.

Am I sick of living on "E"? YES! Will I always live on "E"? THANK GOD, NO!! Today I am choosing to be content where God has me, knowing that at the end of the day I had just what I needed to get there.

If you are with me on this Empty Tank thing, why not take a few minutes to listen:

Today's Confession: I had an incredible Raspberry Cream Cheese Croissant and loved every bite!!

So it begins...

Well, the kids are off to school today. And I?? I am catching up on Facebook, email, and doing an hour's worth of job-searching. My eyes are all blurry now, so I'm about to get off this chair and start the mountain of laundry that's calling my name.

Last night Jacob, 7th grade, started crying when we got them all to bed. He's so nervous about being in a new school. It doesn't help that he's been Facebooking all his friends from Kansas. He began to sob when he told us he wants to go to Chisholm (his old school). But this morning, as he got up and had his little sis, his older cousin, Lindsey, and her cute friend Megan to walk with to the bus stop, he seemed much more at ease.

Anna is starting middle school today, 6th grade, which I can't believe! She turned into a teenager overnight! Now it's all about curling her hair for half an hour, putting on eyeshadow, and changing outfits three times before she walks out the door.

Caleb will be at his new school all by himself this year. It's the first time he hasn't had a big brother or sister to ease his fears. This morning I drove him to school and told him that I'd walk him to class if he wanted me to. "Sure, yeah, if you want." So as I drove past the drop-off lane and looked for a parking space, he says, "Ummm, what are you gonna do if you go in with me?" I replied, "Just walk you to your class." He changed his mind and said, "That's ok, Mom. I wanna go in by myself." OK...BACK to the drop-off lane we went. He grabbed his backpack, and hopped out. I wanted to hold on to him, but that could've caused a scene. 4th grade...hard to believe.

The funny part was coming home...as I drove into the neighborhood, there are all the mid-school kiddos, waiting for the bus (mine, included). I did a "low-wave" to let them know I love them without humiliating them. How did they repay me??? They acted like they'd never seen me before!! The nerve! The gall!! Ah well, I am now officially the "un-cool" mom that I knew I'd someday be.

Today's Confession: I'm home alone with no one to take care of for a whole day!! Who's laughin' now!

Rude Awakening

Ok...After yesterday's confession I found FOUR MORE of those "things" on my head!!!!!!!! And the horrible part about it is that I can't easily see my whole head to evaluate what they make me look like! I mean, what if I suddenly am looking, say 45-ish, and here I am, boppin' around town thinking, "Lookin' pretty good for 39!"??

So what did I do yesterday as I hugged the bathroom mirror, seeing those blatant shiny "things" coming out of my head? Why...PULLED THEM OUT ONE BY ONE, that's what! "This can't be happening", I kept saying out loud. And my dear husband is sitting at the computer, just grinning from ear to ear. Why? Because he has many, many of these shiny "things" on his head, and beard, and chest...but they look really sexy on him!

The tragic part of it all is that I just cut off the last of my damaged "boxed-color" hair last month. As I looked at my dark brown tresses I thought to myself, "Stand tall, my friend! God gave you a lovely shade of brown!"

At this point, you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, "Get over it, sister!" And I don't blame you.

I can't explain why I've felt such fear about getting gray "things" on my head...we all have our vices, I suppose. All I can think of is that to ME it's the "official" beginning of Middle-Age living.

Today's Confession: I'll be making a trip to the store for "Chocolate Velvet" or "Bronzed Rubies"

Could YOU do this?

There are 9 people, 2 dogs, and a guinea pig living together right now. My sister and brother-in-law are so very graciously allowing the Flamings to invade their home for a few weeks. We have the kids enrolled in school, which starts next Wed. (8/18). We are STILL STILL STILL job searching, but at least we are all together in Albuquerque now.

One thing my parents always taught us growing up was how important a sense of humor is. And, boy are they right! Some humor I must share today:

At any one time on the bathroom counter upstairs there are numerous hair products, toothbrushes, make-up bags, lotions, and smeary mirrors.

We try to keep it cleaned off, but with 7 people using one upstairs bathroom, one must choose to laugh, not scream.

There is a dog here named J.D. He is kind of a chow/rottweiler/mutt mix...I dunno.

But I've learned to really like this dog. He's big, but he's a baby. He refuses to climb the stairs, so EVERY TIME someone goes up the stairs, he turns circles and chases his tail! And he actually catches it! I love his humorous antics.

In this house of nine people are 5 chit-rens: 16, 13,12,11, and 9 yrs. of age.

I never knew if having teenagers would be my "cup-o-tea", but I am just amazed at the funny things they do and say. Their thought processes (or sometimes lack, thereof) reminds me so much of my own teenage years. And, no, I wouldn't go back for a million buck-a-roos!!

Those are just a few things that I've observed over the past two weeks. I'm sure my sisters' family will never be the same after these few weeks. The main goal Jarrod and I have while we live here is to live with a servant's heart; to do whatever we can do to make life a bit easier for everyone. It ain't easy, this "helping family out" stuff. All I can say is, "Jesus, thank You for Your love, Your patience, Your grace. You amaze me."

Today's Confession: I'm proud to announce that I STILL don't have any gray hair.

8/14 update~~*GASP*!! I just found a gray hair yesterday...on MY head! -sigh- So it begins...

When God Talks

This is what God spoke to me this morning through Job's life:

"Job was terrified that I (God) might be powerful but not good...I removed all sources of encouragement but one. I extinguished all the lights that had been guiding Job on a pleasant path through life, not to prove a point to Satan-I owe him nothing but hell- but to gain entrance into Job's heart with the light of My Presence. It was in the darkness of unexplained suffering that Job learned he was not the prosecuting attorney nor I the defendant. My message to him is My message to you (Melissa): I remain all-powerful and all-good in your darkest night. Trust Me. You don't know enough not to."

It was God's arms around me this morning.

Now, I wish I could say that I came up with these brilliant words. But, alas, it is not my own. I am reading an INCREDIBLE book, called 66Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crabb.

I know, I know...it's been too long

'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”- Jeremiah 33:2-3

~ I'm guessing He didn't put a time-line on that verse for a reason. Darn. ~